Online Dating – Tragic or Magic

Online Dating – Tragic or Magic

by | Oct 3, 2018 | Uncategorized

Has online dating ruined how we connect with each other? Does the swipe right and match take away from the genuine connections we have formed naturally in the past and make us simply lazy?

What happened to the good old days of calling the person you liked, asking them on a date, arranging it a few days before hand, being picked up, being taken somewhere nice and maybe a little bit romantic and being shown a lovely time, getting dropped off and a good night kiss with no expectations of the horizontal salsa and then you hear from them to make another date?? GONE I tell you they have GONE with the wind! (clearly I am very traditional, quoting old school movies, or maybe I am showing my age haha)

What happens now is very different. Has technology ruined it forever?? There are so many pro’s and con’s to online dating, I guess it just depends on how we treat or mistreat it.

Some pro’s and con’s include;

Pro
We can meet more people around the world

Con
We get lost in all the options

Pro
It reduces the blind date risk factor

Con
We have become superficial

Pro
You feel connected

Con
We are actually disconnecting from reality

Pro
Communication is quick

Con
It is so quick we get inundated and we don’t actually reply to messages

Pro
So many options

Con
We get decision fatigue

Has technology ruined it for us all and generations to come??

No, I don’t believe that online dating has ruined how we date and connect, yes it is has contributed to a major shift and has changed the game a lot, I don’t however, think it is the cause. I think we need to take a good long hard look at ourselves – the users or should I say abusers!

I think we have abused the system, you go to the gym and watch everyone train instead of training you won’t get the results. You look at the clothes in the window and don’t try them on you won’t know if it fits you, reality check – same goes for online dating. The upside is – we can change the game again if we like!

Online dating is a tool we have been given in order to make dating easier, allow us to connect with more people and have a choice, remove the uncertainty of blind dating and enable us to find love.

We have gone and sabotaged it and made it harder rather than easier.

Did you know that Tinder was actually created to connect people and take away the stress of wondering if someone was interested and it was launched for uni students, very similar to Facebook. What happened from there is all our own doing. Sorry to say it guys and gals, we are living in a society filled with deviants afraid of falling in love – hence the tinder booty call was created – which is technically called “Netflix n chill”. We are quite good at sugar coating the truth haha.

So yes, my belief is that we use it incorrectly. Online dating is not the perpetrator, it is the victim and we made it the murderer to dating and finding love. Instead of its original purpose, it is now utilised for booty calls, dick pics, ego boosts, a swipe game and more. We don’t put any description, we put photos of our pets and food, we don’t include pics of just ourselves, we message and don’t respond, we match and don’t make contact, some people use it for a sounding board about all the shitty dates or a way to abuse the opposite sex for being douche-bags or gold diggers and yet we are all confused.

Then when we do finally meet someone online and the magic happens we say – “oh lets just say we met through friends” so then online dating doesn’t even get any credit at all and no one really knows the beauty of it if you use it correctly.

It is absolutely possible to find love online, I know many people who finally admitted to me they met online haha and that is because they used it correctly. I think Tinder should have a different site – maybe called sexter or something where you go just for booty calls and a site for relationships so we can separate the two and make it easier for people to find what they are looking for.

I even want to design an app that has a video profile so you can listen to them speak and you can say something about yourself rather than a short, uninformative description that is generally written in emojis combined with pics that don’t even show their face or hobbies. Put effort in, you will reap the rewards.

No more charades or pretending one thing to get another or leading people on. Just straight up front, good old-fashioned honesty and integrity. It is hard to do that these days as we are all a little bit too scared of getting hurt with the truth so it is easier to lie and get what we want and disappear not realising that actually hurts more in the end which is ultimately why I think we got ourselves into this predicament in the first place but that is another entirely new blog topic.

Either way, do I think you can find love online – Yes! Here are four quick steps to aid that

Write a good profile description
Pick great pics of you eg; doing your hobbies, hanging with friends, head shot and full length
Actually message and respond
Make a time to meet

If you want to download the 6 Steps to a Killer Online Dating Experience you can do so in this link.

https://consortsolutions.com/demo/belindalove/the-6-steps-to-a-killer-online-dating-experience/

We can change how it works by simply changing your attitude, make some effort and be a little bit vulnerable. If it doesn’t work out, there is plenty of fish, another great dating app haha.

Go forth and prosper!!

Ep 3 – Belinda Love in the R.O.A.R – Online Dating; Tragic or Magic?

Ep 3 – Belinda Love in the R.O.A.R – Online Dating; Tragic or Magic?

by | Sep 25, 2018 | Podcast

I hear that many of you are a bit sick of online dating.

All that swiping and matching and not actually meeting anyone! This episode welcomes Paul and Janey, to hear some real life male and female experiences.

Belinda offers great tips on improving your experience, and will potentially change your view on the old swipe and match way of finding love.

Belinda also shares some funny Tinder messages and replies.

Links:

Also don’t forget Belinda’s Six Steps to an is still available in our store!

Listen, download and enjoy!

And email me with any questions or thoughts about this episode at hello@consortsolutions.com

Ep 2 – Belinda Love in the R.O.A.R – Remove Your Love Blocks

Ep 2 – Belinda Love in the R.O.A.R – Remove Your Love Blocks

by | Sep 13, 2018 | Podcast

We often live in fear and loneliness because we are avoiding heartbreak yet yearn for love.

This podcast discusses the exact things holding us back from finding the love we deserve and going from perpetually single to perpetually happy.

To get access to the PDF that reveals the seven most common love-blocks head here

https://consortsolutions.com/demo/belindalove/remove-your-seven-love-blocks-pdf/

Thank you for tuning in! xx

Where Did They Go? #Ghosted

Where Did They Go? #Ghosted

by | Aug 22, 2018 | Uncategorized

Ummmm, where did you go?  What the bloody hell just happened? Things seemed ok, well ok enough that going MIA was not justified in the slightest!

Has this happened to you?  

 

Well, strap yourself in because I am about to explain why, help you find closure and hold the ghosters accountable for their actions because quite frankly – I am sick of this behaviour and if you have done this or have experienced it, this will become a little raw.

This way of dealing with things is happening all a bit too often lately and I want to put a stop to this treatment – it is hurtful, selfish and cowardly.

Ok, let me first explain why people do this – not to justify their actions, but more to offer clarity and give you tools to find closure when they never gave you any verbal closure themselves.

Why do people just go AWAL, ghost, disappear with no words or a simple one line text?

  1. They fear the confrontation
  2. They don’t want to hurt you
  3. They don’t see a need to communicate with you because THEY have moved on (this makes me cranky)
  4. They think avoidance is better than an argument because they just assume that you will get the hint and move on after time anyway *rolls eyes

Whilst the “perpetrator” or perp I shall call them, thinks it is the easiest way, it is in fact the worst way to handle a situation.  I know that we all deal with situations differently, but we are also accountable for our actions and we can transform anything and handle situations better in order to make peace with it – for all parties involved.

We are born with two fears, falling and abandonment, and when you leave without a trace this is seen as being abandoned on a subconscious level and cuts far deeper than if you were to suck it up and say the truth.  “But this will cause confrontation” you say, yes but it depends on how you approach it. You can run away, but is that really holding yourself with integrity and being compassionate? Do you really feel good about yourself by treating someone like that?  

 

A conversation without negative emotion, but with empathy, may hurt them in the short term but I promise you, this will aid them in the grieving process, in turn enabling them to move on.  Often the pain of wondering what happened, what did I do wrong, I need to know, is far worse than the conversation you have with someone to offer them closure.

If this has happened to you, or if it does happen to you in the future, as I can’t promise that all people everywhere will all of a sudden become kind and start having the conversations required (harsh but true) I have some steps for you to follow to find the peace you deserve.

Here are a few steps for you to find closure when they don’t offer it to you;

  1. Know that you didn’t do anything wrong, you were simply not compatible
  2. Don’t text and contact continuously as this will justify their reasons for leaving and reflect poorly on you
  3. There is closure in the no reply.  I am not condoning this, but if you don’t hear from them you can be certain that it is over and move on to find someone that will treat you the way you deserve
  4. Don’t dwell on it, you deserve to be treated with far more respect and compassion than that and they have done you a favour

Whilst I believe we are all adults and should handle situations with love, even when they aren’t the best conversations to have.  By having the sticky conversation with them, you will always be handling yourself with high values and in turn you will attract people into your life with high values.  You don’t need verbal closure to have closure but it is still nice to have.

These are just a few steps to handling this situation and you can find many more in my book Breaking Down the Breakup.  It will offer you the peace of mind you deserve when you can’t find it with the ex.

https://consortsolutions.com/demo/belindalove/breaking-down-the-breakup-book/